Today has been a hard day. Again. No matter what I try, I think that this time maybe this mental illness - OCD, anxiety, and depression - will get better. Maybe reducing stress will help. Maybe getting more sleep. Maybe only focusing on one thing at a time. Maybe I should stay off caffeine. Maybe I should drink caffeine. Maybe I need a hobby. Should I work more? Work less? What will make this go away? And, yet...it continues to plague me. Unwanted trigger thoughts continue to come. Some I can let go of, others nudge me toward certain compulsions - asking God for forgiveness over and over. Checking to make sure that the baby's collar isn't too tight as she sleeps. Hyper-focusing on existential things - like time or language - and trying to figure out how they work. Ruminating on certain thoughts.
Who am I?
- a Christ-follower and redeemed child of God
- a wife to a very understanding and loving husband
- a mom under 40 of three young kids
- a mental illness sufferer: a tormenting and, at times, debilitating combination of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), general anxiety, and depression
Why a blog?
The purpose of this blog is twofold. I'm hoping that it will help me on my journey through mental illness as a Christian, and that it will also help you as a reader - either as someone who struggles with mental illness yourself, or as someone who knows a fellow struggler.
Join me, friend, as we traverse the complicated road of the combination of mental illness and Christianity and discover that even difficult minds can be made beautiful.
