Sunday, May 22, 2016

Status Update and Homeschooling

Status Update

Today is the 11th day of my increased dosage of medication, and I'm happy to report that I feel much better.  Praise the Lord!  I'm managing the OCD instead of it managing me.  I've been able to focus this week on preparing to homeschool my oldest two (Kindergarten and preschool), but more about that in a minute.

Today has been a little rough, but still nowhere close to where I was a couple of weeks ago.  My first intrusive thought this morning happened while I was getting ready for church.  I banged my elbow on a jewelry box while I was getting dressed, and it really hurt.  I said, "MAN!" afterwards, and I was afraid I had cussed instead.  I had already prayed my morning prayer (my ERP plan for compulsive praying = praying only three times a day), so I lived with the intrusive thought all the way to church, through dropping the kids off at Sunday School, and into the beginning of the church service.  And then I gave in to the compulsion to ask for forgiveness through writing a prayer down.  This used to be a big problem for me - very much a part of the OCD.  Well, then another intrusive thought came (not surprising) when I thought a cuss word during the worship songs, and the cycle started over.  I contemplated writing down another prayer asking for forgiveness, but I knew it was the OCD.  So I handed the paper to my husband and instead focused on the sermon and the service.

These verses were shared during the service, and I think that they are especially applicable to those of us with mental illness.

My soul finds rest in God alone

Such a good reminder that my salvation comes from God alone - not from perfect performance on my part.  Even if I did think/say cuss words (or sin in any way), God has forgiven me.  I have trusted in Him.  Jesus paid the price for all of my sins.  I'm trying to live forgiven instead of fearfully.

The rest of the morning/early afternoon was pretty good until just a little bit ago.  I read my Bible and prayed my afternoon prayer, and faced another (common, at least to me) intrusive thought.  What if I didn't end my prayer correctly?  I'm resisting the compulsion to pray again and am working through the accompanying anxiety.  These compulsions are hard to resist, but God is bigger than my compulsions.  


On another note, I've really enjoyed thinking through homeschooling for next year.  We have registered for Classical Conversations, which I'm excited about.  We had our first community get-together on Thursday where I met other moms in the community and my son got to play with his new schoolmates.  I'll attend a parent practicum this summer, which I think will be really helpful as we embark on this new journey.

I went to a homeschool conference last weekend and was able to pick out our math and language arts curriculum for this coming year:

My homeschooling goals this summer are:
  1. Teach my 5-year-old to read (we're ordering the IEW curriculum hopefully very soon)
  2. Prepare for next year (how to document schooling, order other curriculum, etc.)
  3. Clean out my office to make it a usable school room

Have you had any experience (good or bad) with the IEW or Saxon curricula?  Any other suggestions?  How have you implemented the Gospel Project curriculum in to homeschooling?  Where is the best place to find used homeschool curriculum?